Thoughts I had while watching Hye Jin from She Was Pretty on screen.

The reason why I continued watching this show despite knowing that it was just a simple romantic comedy was the relatability factor indeed. I could see myself in her, in fact I felt like I was her at some times. Her freckles and her frizzy hair are the traits I still have with me and so I could easily relate to her and I guess many of us did, as we all have insecurities.

I don't know why but I think that our insecurities are getting larger and larger in number in the recent times, especially in this era of social media. We take our phones out, open our Instagram, knowingly or unknowingly watch a reel there we see a person and the very first thoughts we have in our minds are How come her hair is so straight? How come she has a glass like skin? How does she have so many followers and the list goes on and on. Then, for the whole day or at least for the coming few hours we would be comparing ourselves with that woman we saw earlier, from her eyes, nose, hair to even her fingernails, as a result we get a list of things in us that we wish were different. I remember watching this reel of an influencer one day and feeling small and worthless for the rest of the day. It's true that we live in a not so good world where the society has drafted this 'beauty standards' listing out a few traits and claiming that only those people who have those traits would be accepted by the society as 'Beautiful'. This 'beauty standards' not only make a lot of people feel inferior but also forces them to change into someone who aren't what they are, even when they themselves don't want to change their authentic self, even when they themselves are happy with how they look, on the outside.

When I was a child, I thought that I looked the best, I was full of confidence, I was full of myself, when I looked in the mirror I felt complete, I didn't have anything in my face or body to be unhappy about. But as I grew up and reached my teenage years, I started getting comments on my hair, my complexion, my acne and things and that's when all the confidence in me got washed away and I started feeling as if I was worthless. It actually took me a lot of years to understand the fact that no matter how perfect I become, people will find faults, they'll constantly look up for the things that they can find faults at and that, if I change myself every time just to satisfy their eyes, then in the process, I will for sure lose my authentic self. Those comments, those laughter, those complaints, those advises, they won't stop even now and they make me feel like a sock with a whole and I'm still in the process of stitching up that hole and maybe that's why I could relate to Kim Hye Jin, maybe that's why I cried my eyes out when she restricted herself from meeting her first love, Seong Joon, just because of her insecurities. I felt like maybe if I had been in her place then I would have done the same.

The thing about us is that we crave for compliments, we crave for acknowledgement, we are so busy chasing them that we forget the things that matter more, things like 'self-love' and 'acceptance'. When you look at yourself in the mirror now, it's normal to feel like it would have been better if your nose were a bit slimmer, your eyes were a little bigger, your lips were a little fluffier but the thing you need to understand is that you're not the woman with those traits, you are the woman whose reflection you are seeing in the mirror right now, accept it, accept your broad nose, accept your small eyes and your less fluffier lips, accept yourself and stop looking for more and gradually you'll fall in love with the woman whom you're seeing in the mirror, because it is that woman who is filling your stomach, it is that woman who cries when you're in pain, it is that woman who is trying hard to make you feel like you're somebody, it is that woman who is chasing your dreams, for all these years it was that woman in the mirror who accompanied you wherever you went, accept that woman and love her with all your heart. The first and only way to wash off all your insecurities about looks is to accept yourself for who you are, what you see now in the mirror and make her the love of your life. Come on, if you don't love yourself then who will?

Coming to think of it, people always talk only about the external appearance, we're told to buy that tread mill to lose weight, wear that dress to look better, apply that cream to look fairer, use that serum to have a shinier hair but no one ever talks about the inside which is the only thing that matters in the long run, no one tells us to be more kind, more patient, more empathetic, at least not as many times as they keep on commenting about our physical appearance. In the movies, we are often shown that the hero falls head over heels for the heroine right after looking at her very beautiful face, in the advertisements, we are shown that after applying that particular cream this girl immediately became a confident person and cleared the interview, wherever we go, whatever we watch, we are in one way or the other being told that the people who fulfill the beauty standards of the society have it easy in life, that they live a better and satisfied life. We all know that that is not true, your life is determined by your actions and not by your looks. We might wonder, then why are we being told this way, why are we being told something that isn't real, this is where we need to understand the mastermind behind this. By creating these beauty standards, by making us all feel insecure about our natural self, by creating the need in us to want a more beautiful face, more beautiful body, by making us unhappy about what we already have, the world is growing it's economy, to be put in simple words, the world is doing business with our insecurities. If we were happy with what we already have, who we already are then all those products which the world says is for making us more beautiful wouldn't sell and that's why it's highly important for the world to keep us unhappy about one thing or the other. We shouldn't fall for it, we shouldn't let the world decide how we should look. Just as how, Hye Jin went back to her normal self in the end, I feel that we all should stop thinking about the world's opinion and keep being us, our authentic self. And when you accept and love yourself for just way you are, then there would be no space for insecurities in our lives, no not anymore.

I know it's hard to rub off all the things we have been told all these years and accept ourselves right away but if you don't try then how would you know? It'll take time, a lot of time to see the change, to bring the change but we will reach there one day, you and me, we will reach there one day, for sure.

Sometimes those comments I get makes me feel vulnerable and for those times, I play this song in my head, "Scars to your beautiful" by Alessia Cara, this song has been helping me get through it and is definitely making me feel better about myself, hope this helps for anyone who's in the same boat as me.

And I read a review of this book yesterday, Girl wash your face by Rachel Hollis and I really think this book can help us in this process, click here to buy the book in amazon, make sure to switch to paperback once the link opens, it is available at a cheaper rate and I'm buying one for myself too. I'll get a little commission if you buy the book with this link and who knows this can become my first earning from this blog too, let's do this guys!